It doesn’t matter how much I let Henri Nouwen’s words of wisdom sink in…this morning when an SUV took a wide right hand turn right in front of me [he was too impatient to wait the extra 5 seconds for the car in front of him to turn] and clipped the tire of a woman pushing her bike across the intersection [FYI. only the poor (and expats) ride bicycles in Cambodia], a flame of rage shot through my whole body.
I scowled at the guy as he zoomed off on his way.
Who does HE THINK HE IS!
The contempt the rich have for the poor in this country is absolutely mind boggling. It makes my stomach church. I can feel the heat rising in my blood right now just thinking about it. Running that picture over and over again in my mind. The stupid SUV. The little bike. The skinny woman in her rags pushing her bike who knows where.
I have many many words that I wish I could spew out right now. But I won’t. Because no matter what profanities I throw out into cyberspace, it won’t change Cambodia.
And ultimately I am thankful. Because that incident could have been a bloody mess. but it wasn’t. The woman is fine. Even her bike is okay. Thank God. But I’m still angry.
S T U C K
And forced again to remember that we are living in the dynamics of “already and not yet” (as Brian J. Walsh and Sylvia C. Keesmat say in Colossians Remixed.)
Already and not yet.
It is so uncomfortable to be there. We know that Jesus has won – all those things that Henri Nouwen wrote are true. Jesus has conquered evil. But the powers and principalities of this world have not yet fully submitted to Him.
I admit. On days like today, I wish Jesus would force some submission right now. But that isn’t his way is it?
And so I pray. That in this tension of already and not yet, that I will know how to live. how to love. and how to let go and trust that the already is true in Jesus.